Loyalty to a Fact

by Suzanne M. Lewis

When I was 17, I had an internship at the Justice Department and would have to get a connecting train at Foggy Bottom as part of my commute. One afternoon, I was standing on the platform about 5 steps behind a man in a suit. We were the only ones on the platform. I saw him lift his sleeve to check his watch, so I called out to him, "Excuse me, sir, can you please tell me the time?" He didn't answer, so I raised my voice, "Excuse me, what time is it, sir?!" Still no response! So I shouted in exasperation, "HEY MISTER WHAT TIME IS IT?!!!!!" Can you believe he still didn't answer?! I thought some pretty rotten things about him and his suit and his watch (which I did not say out loud). Then another man approached the first one, tapped him on the shoulder, and the two began a very animated conversation... with their HANDS… in American Sign Language. Man, did I feel stupid and ashamed.

My laptop recently crashed; despite all my best efforts, I could not revive it. I drove an hour and then waited 3 hours for help at the Apple store. Finally Mike from tech support came out to examine my machine. He asked me what was wrong, listened with compassion, then plugged in the computer and pushed start... and it started. Evidently it hadn't been plugged in all the way. I said, "Was that the easiest fix of your whole evening?" And he lied: "No.” Then he ran diagnostics on the laptop and shared useful information so that I didn't feel I'd gone all the way out there and waited so long for nothing.

Mike saw more that evening than I had been able to see back at age 17 in Foggy Bottom. While Mike could have no idea of my current circumstances or what may or may not be preoccupying me, he treated me like a person who could have perfectly valid reasons to make the mistake I made. Rather than judging me to be stupid, he suspended that judgment. Mike is today’s Revolutionary of Tenderness.

Faith isn't "believing" that the other person could be coming from an entirely different circumstance in which there are good reasons not to recognize that one's computer needs to be plugged back in. Faith is loyalty to a fact: the knowledge that the other person is a mystery, who might be struggling or disabled, and who therefore needs to be approached with respect, compassion, and tenderness. Faith is the capacity to see all the factors at play - including those that are invisible and yet true. 

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